Day 12

I had struggled at school today with fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of Friday, fear that my dog Barklee sat on my stomach this morning! I know that sounds funny, but let me give you a little history of my MARLEY, Oh I mean Barklee! Every morning Gary gets up and lets Barklee out of his crate. Barklee sprints out of the crate and jumps with all fours onto the bed and hurls himself straight for my stomach. He then plops his body on my body and gives me one lick! During our first IVF cycle his behavior totally changed, about 7 days after the retrieval Barklee started gently jumping on the bed and laying beside me instead of the usually stomach flop. I did not think anything about it until I started cramping and Barklee began to lay on my stomach again. Barklee knew I was pregnant and he so carefully laid his body as close to mine as possible without laying on me. Barklee also knew when the baby stopped growing. He then went back to his usual stomach flop. Well, this morning he layed his whole body on me, small things like this worry me. However, my Bolty Bolt layed on my stomach the first time around and this time he is laying beside me. So I think at this point you just start picking at anything to start preparing for the worst.

This is when my Community group came in, they reminded me to have FAITH. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. I have to have faith.
I feel so blessed to have these Godly women in my life who are willing to listen to me talk about what is going on in my life and just ask, how can we pray for you!

Well enough about fertility for today! I can't change the outcome with all the worry! Gary always tells me that worry is paying on a debt that may never come due! He is right!
Gary is going to think someone else broke into my blog and posted that he was RIGHT!
Off to bed! Praying for peace!