Well here we go...I don't really know how to do this page yet. I am going to have to learn as I go.
I should probably introduce myself. I am Kimberly. I teach the 4th grade in Belmont/Redwood Shores. I have a wonderful husband and two incredible dogs. Which you will probably read about a lot.

I have debated on starting a blog about our fertility problems because it is very personal, and I decided that I needed to hopefully start a blog that others would empathize with and help me to know that I am not by myself in this struggle.
So, here goes.....

Weird title, but truly how I feel right now. Everyone around me is having children and not us. I sometimes wonder when is it going to be our turn. I don't think anyone understands the frustration and hurt you feel everytime you undergo a fertility treatment that fails. We are now into a year and half of trying fertility treatmenst and still No Baby! We have gone through 6 IUI's(IUI- artificial insemination) on clomid and injections. In fact two of our IUI's were double inseminations.
We have been through one IVF cycle ( Invitro fertilization)...that one was tough, and we have finished our second IVF cycle and just waiting. We actually had what they call a chemical pregnancy the first IVF cycle. The embryo actually implanted, however the egg was just not viable enought to grow.
At this time, we had to go through another egg retrieval because we had no frozens. This was the hardest thing. IVF is the most invasive process I have ever been through. Let me tell you about the process. When you finish your cycle you begin an injectable called Lupron which basically shuts down your ability to ovulate, which for me is my problem. Anyway, you stay on that for around 17 days, and then you hit the heavy hitters, three injections a night, Follistim, Menapur, and finish up with the Lupron. You do this for around 8-10 days until basically your ovaries are the size of grapefruits. Your objective is to have as many follicles as possible, to give yourself the best possible amount of eggs for fertilization. During this time you have almost daily blood tests and ultrasounds, not the ones on the stomach either. Good Times. At the end of the 8-10 days you give yourself yet another shot, this one is and HCG shot to trigger the follicles. In around 36 hours you go to the doctor, get put out and they retrieve the eggs. Three days later you find out how many are fertilized and they transfer two of the embryo's into your uterus. However my first transfer was a bit difficult. The normal transfer is bewteen 10-20 minutes, wonderful me, mine was nearly two hours. I actually had a procedure done to help with that for the second egg retrieval and transfer. Oh ya, You then wait for two very long weeks to either be preggo or not! We received the phone call with an HCG of 16, not real high but it did double in the next 48 hours which was a great sign and then! The dreaded phone call of the HCG that went down. In what, less than three days no HCG, and we had to start over.
We just finished our second cycle of IVF and are actually in our two week wait. The good thing this time is that we did get three frozens.
The hard part you feel so alone while everyone around you is celebrating their pregnancies and their kiddos. I have to work real hard not to become angry, not at my friends, but at the situation. However, I will say when some of my friends have complained about their pregnancies it has highly petrubed me. They forget who they are talking to. Me, the one that can't seem to get pregnant.
I never dreamed getting pregnant would be so difficult. Truly all you have left at the end of the day is your Faith and the Hope that God will give you what you ask for.
On day 9 of my two week wait, I just pray and ask for peace no matter the outcome.